Tuesday 25 May 2010

I've realised I don't really know you at all. And I don't really know anyone at all. Seven years ago, everyone knew everyone, and social circles demanded popularity, and prestige, but now that doesn't exist, and doesn't matter. But at least I knew people then. Now I'm distant with most, and those that I am not, I'm not sure I truly know.

And this year I'm not taking a summer vaccination at my parents, and I wonder if this is an excuse to drift away from those that are left. And I don't want it to be, but it might be. And there are friends, I've known for years, that I speak to perhaps, once a year, and it not because we've drifted apart, it's because we're living separate lives, in separate cities. And there are friends I've never met, that I feel closer too than anyone else, and that just ridiculous.

But you, I'm never really sure I knew you to begin with, and I'm defiantly sure I don't know, and don't care to know you now.

5 comments:

Ben said...

No summer with parents? From your descriptions this has been the highlight of previous years. What will you do instead?

abristolnovella said...

I'm staying in Bristol, to work out if I can actually like this city of not. And if I can't then I'm going to move. But then I wont be abristolnovella anymore, so I'll be a bit fucked, but it could be worthwhile in the long run

Ben said...

Well being the Bathonian snob that I am, I've lived near Bristol my whole life, and still struggle to muster any affection for the place. It's definitely improving though, and if you confine yourself to Cabot Circus, Park St, Clifton and around the docks you can usually fool yourself you're somewhere nice.

Could be a long boring summer - does this increase my chances of coaxing you out for a wander / drink some time?

SpiritMountainGuy said...

Why not go on vacation somewhere else, say Canada, for the summer or part of it to re-focus? I live in the Vancouver, British Columbia area and you're welcome to stay here to see and do what you like. Your choice! Have a great week!!! - V

Tim in the City of Angles said...

I don't think you should worry too much being "abristolnovella" away from Bristol. Isherwood wrote his "Berlin Stories" in Copenhagen and New York. I think "Abristolnovella is the state of your mind rather than a place, though you do derive a lot of your pungent misery from there. But really, wouldn't you be just as miserable somewhere else?