As I put the thin glass vessel to my lips, the cold, autumnal colour rushes in, and I feel a sudden rush of relaxation. This is something I have felt for four days now.
On Friday night I receive a message from Nos. I grab a bottle of vodka, half a bottle of rum and some cloudy lemonade and the next thing I know we're playing drinking games at hers. Pretty soon we head out to a gig. And by the middle of the evening the concoction of intoxicants has taken over my body. I find myself feeling alive once again. I feel fantastic, although (probably) look a state.
Then it's 4am. I pull the shattered credit card out of my pocket and palm the pieces into someones hand. Then it's back to Nos's. We send some stupid messages to weirdos on facebook, have a cup of tea, and retire.
Something has changed in me, and I know it.Even though my head is murky, day light hurts my eyes and voices ring in my ears.
Nothing can dampen this feeling. In truth, this is what it felt like before the feeling went away. It's like my body has taken a small part of whatever it was flowing in my blood stream and replicated it. I feel fantastic. I feel...love?