Monday, 3 August 2009

On Friday, I wake up about quarter to ten. Have breakfast, a couple of pieces of toast, have a cup of Miles blend tea, and open the post. I send three letters, and return four request forms. I use my typewriter to reply, and hope that the person opening the letters gets as excited as I, when I see that English typewriter font.

I clean the house, well the kitchen at least, and by clean I mean, wipe a few things with a cloth. I load the dishwasher. Take a drive to the store, and hand deliver a letter.

On Saturday I crash my car. Or rather someone crashes into me.

Naturally I seek the best medical advise and after being given the all clear, drown my sorrows with a bottle of Absolute. Which I find stops my lower jaw, and chin area, spasming almost completely.

I spend the best part of Sunday being sick (Which I've heard is great for the abs). I don't go to the gym, and I don't get out of bed. At three fifty one pm, once I am convinced that I am able to hold down food stuffs. And my lips have stopped burning, and the feeling has come back, and my face has stopped spasming and my neck feels...ok. I consume : Two packets of crisps, two bottles of Coke, Two tubes of gelatin sweets and a Marz Bar.

Then I go back to bed.

Sick count 7.5 (the last retch was half hearted).


michaelluke said...

I so agree about English - or possible German - typewriters.

And there's no shame in cleaning the kitchen - even with just a token wipe or two. It's the constant bathing in vodka while eating crisps is what set people on the road to ruin.

Oh and the high from sweet stuff afterwards!

What about the espressos?

abristolnovella said...

You're supposed to be concerned that I crashed my car! haha.

I find when your hungover and/or being sick, vitamins and ion drinks are best, coffee is a no go.

Also has anyone noticed recently, that starbuck coffee really isnt that fantastic? Am I perhaps 100 years behind times?

Tim in the City of Angles said...

Absolute? No wonder you got sick. You should have been drinking Grey Goose. Then again, the last time I wedded a bottle of GG I wound up naked in a nite club and 100gbp lighter, so who am I to talk? But, yeah, the crisps, sweets,, adding insult to injury.

I was going to mention the car crash (and you are alright, yes?) but then you went ahead and talked about it, so now it would only seem like pandering, not that there's anything wrong with that.

But on the whole, Toughie, do you have ANY adult supervision? You're coming across like a GenZ Chance the Gardener.

Tim in the City of Angles said...

Oh, the coffee! I brew my own here and I'm fanatical about it. Illy coffee is by far the best... brewed in a mocha.

I'm not quite sure how I'm going to adjust to coffee back in the US. I guess mine won't be the first office state-side with a hot plate and a mocha!

Roop said...

Oh, go on then. How did you crash your car? And are you alright now?

abristolnovella said...

I'm fine. technically someone crashed into me. My friend was following me in her 4x4 and I stalled...excellent fun